The strongest of these lives, is the first one. It is the one I was born with. Trust me, I did not come from a "beautiful" place and life has been anything but easy for me. I was born with a soul that needs the light, the truth, and realistic simplicity. No sugar coating here, just tell me like it is; let me see you for who you truly are and then my friend, let us go from there to see where we can find some common ground because I truly want you in my life.
I was born to dream. I was born to create. I was born to help, to nurture, to heal, to hug, to love, to laugh and to make this world a better place than the one I grew up in for the generations to follow. I was born an old soul 60 years ago and now I finally fit into my wrinkled, freckled, grey haired body with such ease that I love it more than ever. I am ready to move forward without worrying about what you think of me, my life or my art.
This has truly been a year of struggle for me. I have felt like I have been living an out of body experience watching this year pass by as the people I have loved for so long and the world in general, lose their ability to be understanding, much less kind.
I worry that the path I have chosen will be wide enough for my grandchildren to navigate through and that the weeds of destruction so many others are sowing in order to create chaos out of the joy and beauty in an ordinary day will quickly cover up all the good seeds I am throwing down. So much jealousy, so many small hearts.
Is there a hug much less a paintbrush out there that I can purchase that will be big enough to cover all the black mud that I fear is sucking us all into a dangerously apathetic society?
This year, I have had to let go of those who have never been able to see my colors much less my worth as I pray that they find their way down their own paths without me cheering them on. I realize they don't need me...
... and maybe, just maybe, I am their problem.
Maybe I have held them so long and so tight, that they can't stand alone and see how strong they are....maybe I have loved them too much...hopefully someone else is waiting for them who can show them the light, the coIor, the beauty of their life and their own worth as they forge their path into the unknown as I let go and move forward.
I recognize that I do not have the answers anymore. Or is it that I do not ask the right questions?
I can only open my arms and my heart wider each and every morning as I hug my children, grandchildren, friends and family into my small world so they feel safe, secure and confident when they leave me to go out and create a world that they wish to live in and also leave behind.
I wish that on this day and the days that follow both you and I, that we not only see the beauty before us, but also create a better day so that as the sun fades our colors become brighter, our words truer, our love stronger and our hearts bigger.
Open up and come on in for a hug! There is one waiting for you to step into it!
Laura Anne and Bella Boo, the puppy with the biggest heart and a colorful personality
